I have found a playgroup for Margot and I to try out. It is sort of a playgroup/mom club, which isn't exactly what I was in the market for, but I am willing to try it out. I don't really like the term "Mommy group" or anything else that excludes the other parent. Since Ben stays at home with Margot, we have had a tough time finding any type of group that will accept a Dad. I was hoping to find a group that is for all parents and all kids, but they all seem to be broken into rules and age groups that you have to try and fit yourself in. Anyway, I am going to try this Saturday and see what happens.
I am nervous as hell.
I am not nervous about meeting other women, but I am nervous about my expectations. Will the Moms be nice to us? Will they like us? Will they spank and yell and feed their kids candy bars? Margot does not have much experience playing with other kids (our fault) and isn't the best at sharing right now. I don't know how she is going to react with all new strange people and no Daddy around.
Most of all I desperately want to become friends with these women. It is no secret since we moved from Medford I have been severely lacking in the friend category. I am nervous that I am using my kid to find myself new friends; this seems unbelievably crazy and pushy to me. But since Margot and family is my life, this seems like the only option. I don't go to school anymore, and my job is not really conducive to building relationships. But I miss the closeness I have with my dear friends, and I HATE not being able to see them everyday. Especially now that so many of us have kids and are similarly focused in life, I feel that we are missing out on so much of each others lives.
So this is my decision. I am going to try and make new friendships, new closeness and new memories. I will try this Mommy group and really make an effort to be open to new ways of life.
I just hope it works.