Thursday, November 08, 2007

Playdate Anxiety

I have found a playgroup for Margot and I to try out. It is sort of a playgroup/mom club, which isn't exactly what I was in the market for, but I am willing to try it out. I don't really like the term "Mommy group" or anything else that excludes the other parent. Since Ben stays at home with Margot, we have had a tough time finding any type of group that will accept a Dad. I was hoping to find a group that is for all parents and all kids, but they all seem to be broken into rules and age groups that you have to try and fit yourself in. Anyway, I am going to try this Saturday and see what happens.

I am nervous as hell.

I am not nervous about meeting other women, but I am nervous about my expectations. Will the Moms be nice to us? Will they like us? Will they spank and yell and feed their kids candy bars? Margot does not have much experience playing with other kids (our fault) and isn't the best at sharing right now. I don't know how she is going to react with all new strange people and no Daddy around.

Most of all I desperately want to become friends with these women. It is no secret since we moved from Medford I have been severely lacking in the friend category. I am nervous that I am using my kid to find myself new friends; this seems unbelievably crazy and pushy to me. But since Margot and family is my life, this seems like the only option. I don't go to school anymore, and my job is not really conducive to building relationships. But I miss the closeness I have with my dear friends, and I HATE not being able to see them everyday. Especially now that so many of us have kids and are similarly focused in life, I feel that we are missing out on so much of each others lives.

So this is my decision. I am going to try and make new friendships, new closeness and new memories. I will try this Mommy group and really make an effort to be open to new ways of life.

I just hope it works.


Elizabeth said...
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Elizabeth said...

No worries, they will love you! If they don't they are quite obviously crazy and not worth knowing anyway.

Trisha said...

Good luck! I totally know how you feel. I want to venture out and talk with people who are going through the same things ("look how long Elise is holding her head up" type things) but since we live in BFN 30 minutes away from most people it is really hard to get the friend/grown up interactions that I crave on a daily basis. I hope that the moms are nice . . . if they don't accept you then we will know that they are crazy!

Lauren said...

Trisha and Liz, you guys are so sweet. I can't even tell you how much I miss you both :(

carrie said...

Lauren, I definitely agree with Liz and Trisha! If they don't totally love you, they are just plain weird and crazy. I miss our Medford crowd too. SO much. At least Trish and I get to see each other every now and then, but not nearly enough!

I've thought about joining a playdate group too - there's one here that seems up my alley - but I'm too nervous. I hate putting myself out there like that. I think you are so awesome for doing it and being active about making new friends! Let us know how it goes. :)


I joined a playgroup when I first moved to LV and it has been a lifesaver! I was lucky and found a good one right away. Keep trying if this one doesnt seem a good fit. And sometimes it takes attending a few times (and feeling akward) before you start to feel more comfortable. The nice thing is you instantly have something in common with these new people.
Ive found its harder than it use to be to make friends and I have to use my kids as a foot in then so be it lol.

Lauren said...

Thanks for the support, guys. I will definitely keep everyone updated!

We are meeting at a coffee shop, which I am a little put off by. We shall see though, huh?

kalurah said...

I really wish we lived in the same town because I KNOW we would have so much fun. we are both Princesses and have FABULOUS husbands and great children. I love you so much and I'm so glad that I have you in my life.
I really hope you meet some new gals and hit it off with them instantly.
you're a great person, Lauren and you deserve great friends!